Firefight

Behind a tree I hid in fright,
A battle within myself first I fight,
Tool in hand, trained to use,
Yet right now, I simply refuse.
Rapidly breathing, heart racing,
I knew I better start thinking,
Start deciding, I better be doing,
Before it becomes my own undoing.
The sounds around me helped not,
The screams as comrades were shot,
The booms as bombs were dropped,
The blasts as grenades were popped.

In that split second I resolved,
The conflict within me, now solved,
All doubts in me now dissolved,
Killing the foe my thoughts now revolved.
Rifle in hand, as it always was,
I peeped out from behind my tree,
Only to see, a man, the enemy,
Aiming straight at my best friend Tim.

Principles, morals, mercy,
They flew out of all my thoughts,
The only thing in my mind was now,
He is going to kill my best friend Tim.

Hesitation did not guide my hand,
As I brought the rifle up to stand,
Training my sights at the man,
My finger squeezed, and the bullet went.
Wham! The bullet hit the man,
My aim was true, the head it slammed,
He stood headless, for a second,
Then collapsed, a headless mess.

Oh my God, what have I done?
My first kill, the very first one.
Thoughts sink in, realisation begins,
At the foul deed, I have done.

But there was no time to reflect or cry,
The firefight goes on, and so must I,
The first one done, what is two or three?
I aimed and fired, and fired and fired.
How many I downed, I did not count,
The screams and cries, I do not recount,
In my mind, I only thought,
They must die, or it is my comrades and I.

I probably wrote this after reading some book on the Vietnam War.