The morality of war

Can we ever justify war? For war is against our moral values. We have been taught that killing is wrong, that "thou shalt not kill". Yet in war, the one thing that we have to do is to kill the enemy.

How can we say that we are morally right, that we are fighting for our moral values, if we are instead going against them?

We can. We have to tell ourselves that, we are fighting the war for a moral value that we hold in high regard. "Thou shalt not kill", but if by not killing more will die at the hands of the enemy, do we still hold back our swords? Do we not instead fight against the enemy to protect the lives of others?

War is something that is totally against our conscience, against our will. We must realise that war is not a solution, it is the last resort. Before we even get to the stage of war, we must try our very best to stop it from happening. We must use diplomacy, negotiations, anything that does not compromise our stand, to solve the problem, the conflict on hand.

Only when that is not possible, do we resort to war.

And when war starts, we must tell ourselves that we have to fight hard and well, to stop the enemy fast, so that the least number of lives will be lost. We cannot hold back. By holding back, we only prolong the war and allow more to be killed.

Still, the question is : can we justify war?

No, we can never justify war, but we can justify our actions during war. We have to tell ourselves that what we do during war is so that the least number of lives will be lost, that by our actions we are helping to end the war earlier.

The work of a leader

I found a short article on leadership that I wrote in the past for my webpage, which is since lost... This is the article:
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What must a leader of men do? Here, I shall restrict my scope to the military, the one place where I am most able to speak in. And I shall use my own job as a guideline, which means I will be talking from the view point of an officer.

A leader leads. That is simple, or at least it seems that way. But how does one lead? That is the age old question. A leader has to lead by example. Yet he also has to know that he is not omniscient, that there are some things beyond him. Yet he has to make his men do some of those things that he cannot do.

He must be where he can make the best use of his abilities. A leader need not always be at the front setting an example and leading his men into the fray. No, sometimes, he has to let his men go out front while he stays behind. He must realise where he is most needed and be there.

A good leader also learns to make himself dispensable. He makes his men independent of him, because he is only one man. A good leader has to teach his men to go on without him. He trains his men to be able to take charge in case he falls.

Training. A leader must train. He trains his men to survive and to think. He trains them in the art of war, yet he also must train them in the arts of peace. He must teach his men to be able to handle all situations so that they don't escalate into war. He teaches his men confidence, to believe in themselves.

A leader inspires his men to give their best, to be willing to sacrifice their time and their lives. He gives them a purpose in being, he gives them a sense of belonging. He makes his men proud of themselves, in their work and in their beliefs.

He must also care for his men, and see to it that they grow and learn to become better persons, not just better professionals. He sees that they have an environment conducive to their work.

The job of a leader never ends. It only grows.

Stress is self-induced

I recently attended a stress management workshop, not because I am facing a lot of stress but rather to see what are the techniques out there to help manage stress. While there were certain techniques for managing stress that I didn't know, it wasn't really that insightful. Instead, what my wife, a Japanese drama, and this great book called "Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box" (by The Arbinger Institute) rings true to my heart.

"Stress is self-induced."

Events have no meaning to them until we, in our own minds, tag a meaning to them. Events (whether things that happen in the world like disasters, traffic jams, or the behaviour of people) are just that, they are events. There is no good or bad event, until we process the event and judge these events based on our beliefs and values. Only then does these events become "good" or "bad". And when we allow these meanings that we tag to events to affect how we react, that is when we may end up stressing ourselves.

The best way to handle stress, then, is to simply be able to accept the fact that there are some things in life beyond our control, that we cannot force people to change to become what we want of them. When we come to accept events and people (including ourselves) for being who they are, we will be less affected by them (or their actions).

My year of travels, 2010

Looking back, 2010 was the year of travels for me.

It started with the new year in Japan.

Then I went to San Diego in Feb.

San Diego again in Apr.

Guam and Hawaii in the summer, with a stop at Japan as well.

Japan again in late autumn for a seminar.

USA in Dec.

And then Japan again to spend the new year.

Half the trips were for work, the other half for leisure. I don't think I will be able to travel as much in a year as this for a while...

The changing face of Mount Fuji

I was in Japan over the New Year, and took some photos of Mt Fuji. Here there are, to share.

31 Dec 2010, evening:

1 Jan 2011, morning:

1 Jan 2011, evening:

2 Jan 2011, morning:

4 Jan 2011, morning:

6 Jan 2011, morning:

7 Jan 2011, morning:

Which do you think is the most beautiful?

Spending the New Year in Japan 2011

After our trip to USA, we dropped by Japan to spend the new year with my in-laws.

On New Year's Eve, we were greeted with this great scene... the sun setting over the town where my in-laws lives, with Mt Fuji in the background.

We woke up to New Year's Day with the usual osechi meal.

We then took a short walk to the nearby Kashima-jinja to pray for a good year ahead.

A long queue awaited us at the shrine, which was a bit unusual since this is really a small local shrine.

A sumptuous dinner was waiting for us when we got back.

During this trip, we also managed to visit the Anpanman Museum in Yokohama.

The museum was all ready for the new year too!

The kids love Anpanman, and whenever the theme song played, they started dancing to the tune.

Which explains why there were so reluctant to leave...

The museum is near Minato-mirai.

And the icon of Minato-mirai is of course Landmark Tower.

We also managed to slot in time to visit Kawasaki-Daishi, a big temple at Kawasaki. It is the usual pilgrimage we make yearly since we started spending New Year in Japan.

During our stay, the kid tried to make himself useful too. Here you can see him helping to brush the wooden deck of the balcony.

Maybe he did a good job of keeping the balcony clean, and thus we had a pair of mejiro (Japanese white-eye) visiting us.

Welcoming the Year of the Rabbit

The Year of the Rabbit is here!

It has been some years already, but for the past few years, the tradition has been to have reunion dinner on the eve at my mother's place, after which we would go to the floral centre nearby (where my father's shop, run by my uncle now, is) to enjoy the festive mood and bask in a bit of nostalgia. It was raining but that didn't seem to deter the people from coming here to get a good deal.

This year's visit to the floral centre is all the more nostalgic, as my mother is considering selling away the shop, after 25 years. My younger sister practically grew up with the shop, and I have spent many days of my growing up years helping out there too, especially during the festive season. It is sad to know that the shop will be changing hands, but I guess it cannot be helped since no one is taking over the business.

New Year's Day itself was more fun, with my cousin back from LA, together with her husband and toddler son. So the distant cousins (my son and my cousin's son) got to play together and entertained everyone with what they can do. The usual visits to my grandmothers was a good time to get together with my cousins from both sides of the family and catch up on how things are going. That's what I like about extended families.

The kid was so tired from playing the whole day, he fell asleep the moment we got into the car heading home.

Here's wishing everyone a great year ahead!
新年快乐，心想事成，万事如意，步步高升，身体健康！发啊！

PS. When I was much younger, we never had reunion dinners at home. My parents would be too busy at the shop on Chinese New Year's Eve. We kids would have dinner at home, and then my father would pick us up to go to the shop while he was making deliveries. The whole extended family would have reunion dinner on Chinese New Year's Day itself at my paternal grandparents' place. Then we moved to a place nearer the floral centre, and we would have an early reunion dinner at home, before heading to the shop for the final round of selling festive plants.

USA trip Dec 2010

We took a trip to USA to visit my cousin and a family friend in Dec 2010. The details are in their separate posts and this is just to consolidate the links to the posts.

Part 1: Southern California
Part 2: Mechanicsburg
Part 3: Los Angeles

Total distance driven: 961 miles

USA trip Dec 2010 - Los Angeles

The last part of our USA trip taken in Dec 2010 was spent in Los Angeles.

Day 11: We spent the day doing final shopping at Camarillo Premium Outlets. Okay, we didn't buy a lot of stuff, but we did a lot of walking... since the place was huge!

And the weather was so great, it was sunny California, after all that rain in the first part of the trip.

We even had airplanes flying overhead (seems like there was a small airfield nearby).

While we didn't get to do a lot during this trip, it is spending time with family that was the real goal of this. I managed to spend time with my cousin (whom I grew up with), and the two distant cousins (my son, and my cousin's son) were also able to play and get to know each other.

Day 12: Time to go. We got to the airport to catch our flight across the Pacific Ocean to Japan, where we intended to spend the new year.

Total distance driven: 218 miles

We had a Nissan car this time round, but never got round to taking a picture of it. And it was a "keyless" car... the kind that you start by pressing a button. Never driven such a car before... so it took a while to figure out how to start the car!

USA trip Dec 2010 - Mechanicsburg

The second part of our USA trip taken in Dec 2010. This was a visit to a family friend living in Mechanicsburg, a small town in Pennsylvania.

Day 6: We set off from San Diego for Philadelphia (a cross-country flight!) that took about 5 hours. Arriving at Philadelphia airport at night, we spent the night at a nearby hotel (yet another Residence Inn by Marriott). Here's a weird looking science contraption at the airport arrival.

Day 7: We woke up to a sunny winter day. The kid decided that Elmo should live in a shoe, so he put Elmo into one of his mother's boots.

It was a great day for a drive to our friends' place. We stopped over for lunch at King of Prussia shopping mall (it was huge!) before continuing on our way to Mechanicsburg. This is how the house, built in 1785, looks like.

It also happened to be Christmas Eve, so we were greeted by a huge Christmas tree in the living room.

Day 8: Christmas Day! And Christmas isn't complete without a reindeer, so we did have one... though he didn't look very happy when he first put on his antlers. Maybe it was because he didn't get to see himself with them?

We did have a fun time opening up presents. Christmas is about giving and receiving, and the kid kept himself busy (and useful) ripping open everyone's presents.

Our hosts prepared a wonderful spread for dinner... and we ate ourselves so full...

A heavy snowstorm hit the US east coast that night, but being a bit further inland, we didn't get any snow at all. The snow, however, caused many airports to close and got us a bit worried that our flight back to LA may be cancelled. But the weather forecast seems to suggest that things would turn out well, so we weren't that worried.

Day 9: Boxing Day, a day to take things slowly. We took a walk in the countryside surrounding the house. Here's the view of the back of the house.

There is a creek nearby, and small puddles would accumulate when it overflows its banks... the cold, however, turned those puddles into ice.

My wife cooked dinner that night, a Singaporean dinner (even though she is Japanese). We had bak kut teh and fried rice.

Here's a picture of our hosts and the kid.

It was great being able to spend time with friends, especially Christmas. The hearty welcome and warm hospitality, plus being able to just chat about how things are going, made this trip flying half the world around (and crossing many many time zones) so worth it.

Day 10: Our last day for this part of the trip. After getting up early in the morning and checking out the flights (to make sure ours was not cancelled due to the snow), we hopped into the car for the drive to Philadelphia airport. On the way, we passed by snow country... snow accumulated from the heavy snowstorm that hit the US east coast on Christmas. It was the first time I have ever driven in the snow... and the GPS decided to bring me down some small roads (instead of the well-maintained highways) which were covered in snow. It was the first time I saw the "skid" lamp lit up in my dashboard.

The snow caused our car to get stuck at the petrol kiosk, but with the help of some passer-bys, we managed to get it out. We made it to the airport and this was the view out of the window.

The snow did cause some delays... our co-pilot was absent and in the end, we waited in the plane for about 4 hours while the airline arranged for another co-pilot. But we finally took off and reached LA way past dinner time. Here's a view of Philadelphia from the sky.

Total distance driven: 250 miles

We had a Toyota Camry for this part of the trip, but we never took a photo of it in our rush to get out of the cold (remember, the airport was still covered in snow...)

Japan trip Oct 2010

I was in Japan (Tokyo, to be exact) in Oct 2010 for work, but there was a bit of sightseeing as well.

I managed to visit the Imperial Palace at Tokyo.

Here's the place where the Imperial family usually give their New Year's greetings.

There was also a visit to Sensoji (浅草寺), and I was privileged to be able to see the art collection housed here. A lot of ema (絵馬) are housed here, and this is one of the more famous ones.

The exhibit hall has a statue of the Goddess of Mercy as well.

To round it all up, I also got the chance to visit Nikko's Toshogu (日光東照宮) where Tokogawa Ieyasu is buried. This is the path leading up to the temple.

The entrance itself.

The famous Three Wise Monkeys - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

Tokugawa Ieyasu's tomb.

It was a short trip, revisiting places that I have been to before, but still, meaningful because of the people who went along with me. Plus each time I go, I learn a little more about these places.