Stress is self-induced

I recently attended a stress management workshop, not because I am facing a lot of stress but rather to see what are the techniques out there to help manage stress. While there were certain techniques for managing stress that I didn't know, it wasn't really that insightful. Instead, what my wife, a Japanese drama, and this great book called "Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box" (by The Arbinger Institute) rings true to my heart.

"Stress is self-induced."

Events have no meaning to them until we, in our own minds, tag a meaning to them. Events (whether things that happen in the world like disasters, traffic jams, or the behaviour of people) are just that, they are events. There is no good or bad event, until we process the event and judge these events based on our beliefs and values. Only then does these events become "good" or "bad". And when we allow these meanings that we tag to events to affect how we react, that is when we may end up stressing ourselves.

The best way to handle stress, then, is to simply be able to accept the fact that there are some things in life beyond our control, that we cannot force people to change to become what we want of them. When we come to accept events and people (including ourselves) for being who they are, we will be less affected by them (or their actions).